Thursday, April 12, 2007

For your edification

For those of you who haven't seen Team America: World Police and didn't get Bill's response to our IT crisis.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Re: Critical Windows Updates

From: Brown, Elizabeth
Sent: Wednesday, April 11, 2007 9:21 AM
To: 'William Stohner'
Subject: FW: Critical Windows Updates

al qaeda is going to try to get into our firm network

>From: IT Manager
>Sent: Wednesday, April 11, 2007 9:18 AM
>To: (All Staff Members)
>Subject: Critical Windows Updates
>Importance: High

>There are some new Windows vulnerabilities that have been discovered.
Unfortunately these vulnerabilities are a serious threat to our network.
Please stay of the internet until your computer is updated. We will be monitoring and logging all web traffic today. I'm rolling out the updates today at 10:00 a.m.
>Today at 10:00 a.m. your computers will download and install windows updates. Please be sure to save your work in case of reboot. If your computer does not install the updated today, it may install the updates the following day at 10:00 a.m.
>Sorry for the inconvenience.
>If you have any questions or comments, please reply directly to me and not all staff.

>IT Manager
>F** O** & L**

From: William Stohner
Sent: Wednesday, April 11, 2007 9:39 AM
To: Brown, Elizabeth
Subject: Re: FW: Critical Windows Updates

lol so you've been vulnerable to this for months, but now that they know about it, you can't use the internet for an hour this morning to protect yourselves... retarded

dirka dirka f** o** l** network mohammad vulnerable till 10
dirka dirka we have an hour to get in jihad jihad

Thursday, March 22, 2007

You girls...

So I'm in the kitchen putting my dishes in the dishwasher after lunch. There's some man in there who looks like he's fixing the coffee machine or something. So he says to me:

"Oh, finished with lunch?" (They love this ridiculous small talk here in Texas, we can't just politely pretend that the other person doesn't exist like you would do in normal society.)
"Yeah, ha ha ha."
"Did you get full?"
"Um, kind of, ha ha ha."
"Never full enough, huh? Hahahaha!"
So I'm like, "Mmmm, yeah, ha ha," and am walking out of the kitchen, when he says
"You girls, I know how you are, never full enough! Hahahaha!"
What does this mean???? I'm kind of disturbed.

Monday, March 19, 2007

Mentally done with work for the day

While I was gone, Margo decided that the arrangement of the shelves in my "space" was "just not right," so she took away half of my shelves, and put in some little cabinet, which I would never use unless I was hiding something, right in front of the shelves that I still do have. Why you would move someone's office furniture around while they were gone will be eternally beyond me.

I will be spending the next hour deciding whether I should buy into the patent-leather-shoes trend, and if so, whether I should get flats or pumps or both. Any input would be appreciated.

I'll give an update on Paris and the Homeland Security fiasco, including my terrorist doppelganger in Richmond, VA, when I get home.

Friday, March 09, 2007

Re: My pretty office

And no... this cannot wait, even though I'll be out of the office all next week. It has to be done today. She has now recruited other people, who apparently have no work to do, either, to help move shelves and fake palms and screens around.

After it was all finished, Patsy came over to exclaim over how much better my "space" looked, how much more room I had... I mean this is not my bedroom. I don't need more light from some ugly tiny little 15-watt lamp, I don't need "more privacy" from another fake plant, I don't need a 3-by-3-inch rattan basket for "more storage space." Just leave me alone and let me do work already. I think they are all a little disconcerted because, as you probably know, I'm not very good at expressing excitement when I do feel it, let alone when I don't, so it's really hard for me to be super-psyched about taking an hour out of my day to put in one shelf.

On a more exciting note, I'm meeting someone from Craigslist this afternoon to buy a copy of Microsoft Office 2007, I guess Microsoft had some kind of launch event and gave out free copies, and this person is selling his for less than half of the retail price. I guess people are selling these launch copies for so little is because there's no hard-copy of the CDs or the documentation, it's just the product key, so you have to download the actual application online, which I already did to use the free 60-day trial. Which means that if no one hears from me for a few days, I've been kidnapped. But we are meeting in a nice public place in the middle of the day.

Ugh and then Patsy just came over to say "Hahahaha, it's hard to keep stuff off the floor, huh?" because I haven't had time to put all the stuff back on the shelves from when I had to take everything off to move them because I have work to do. Which I told her. GO DO SOME WORK. God.